One of my friends is a brand manager for an enormous CPG and works on a product that you probably have in your home.  His brand recently set up a Fan Page on Facebook and has started communicating with customers online.

A really bad post from his brand – not my friend – recently caught me at a highly-caffeinated moment.  So I fired off a critical email.  See below.

Note that I changed the names/content to protect the offending brand.

Enjoy.

Eric


Friend,

I know I’m not your target audience and I know that you probably tested this 47 different ways before you posted it and I know that you didn’t ask for my advice…BUT I’m your friend, I drank an entire pot of coffee this afternoon, I think about this crap all day long, and this caught me while I was on a roll.  So – it is with an overly caffeinated sense of friendship and respect that I say:

This is a terrible status post.

BRAND® After years of research, BRAND® redefines a problem with a breakthrough new technology that combines Magicalstuff with the power of EXCITING STUFF®. For a limited time: Be the first to try the new BRAND® FOREVER YOUNG™ Beauty Rejuvination System and your full purchase price will go to a non-profit. Click here for details! http://www.brand.com/word

Thoughts:

- Is there such a thing as a breakthrough old technology?

- Way too long.  Way too much information.  Are you telling me something, selling me something, or asking me to do something?

- THE ALL CAPS MAKES IT REALLY HARD FOR ME TO READ.

- The landing page has the same content.  Redundant.

- I realize that the r’s and tm’s are probably mandated by some style/brand guide…they’re just kinda off-putting.  It is hard for me to engage something that is a registered trademark.  Is it the end of the world if you don’t include that stuff?

- You posted this to your “fans” – who also happen to be people.  I know that you don’t talk to people like this.  I’m sure your co-workers don’t.  If BRAND(r) was a person – would it talk like this?

- Just remember – all you’re trying to do is make me click.  Save the schtick for the landing page.

Carry on.

Eric

blog comments powered by Disqus