One of my friends is a brand manager for an enormous CPG and works on a product that you probably have in your home. His brand recently set up a Fan Page on Facebook and has started communicating with customers online.
A really bad post from his brand – not my friend – recently caught me at a highly-caffeinated moment. So I fired off a critical email. See below.
Note that I changed the names/content to protect the offending brand.
I know I’m not your target audience and I know that you probably tested this 47 different ways before you posted it and I know that you didn’t ask for my advice…BUT I’m your friend, I drank an entire pot of coffee this afternoon, I think about this crap all day long, and this caught me while I was on a roll. So – it is with an overly caffeinated sense of friendship and respect that I say:
This is a terrible status post.
- Is there such a thing as a breakthrough old technology?
- Way too long. Way too much information. Are you telling me something, selling me something, or asking me to do something?
- THE ALL CAPS MAKES IT REALLY HARD FOR ME TO READ.
- The landing page has the same content. Redundant.
- I realize that the r’s and tm’s are probably mandated by some style/brand guide…they’re just kinda off-putting. It is hard for me to engage something that is a registered trademark. Is it the end of the world if you don’t include that stuff?
- You posted this to your “fans” – who also happen to be people. I know that you don’t talk to people like this. I’m sure your co-workers don’t. If BRAND(r) was a person – would it talk like this?
- Just remember – all you’re trying to do is make me click. Save the schtick for the landing page.